A man visits his psychologist's office wearing only saran wrap for shorts. The psychologist looks at him and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two psychoanalysts pass each other in the hall. The first one says, "Hello". The second one thinks to himself, "I wonder what he meant by that."
How many therapists does it take to change a light-bulb? Just one, but it has to WANT to change.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.